My Christmas Tree Lights Enigma

​Putting on Christmas tree lights seems to be an enigma to me. For example, after setting up the tree, I began putting ornaments on the tree and then one third of the way through I realized I forgot to put the lights on first. Then I put the lights on the tree (over the ornaments of course). I plugged the lights in. The string only partially worked with the top of the tree lit up and the rest in the dark. I unraveled the lights from the tree and worked around the fragile ornaments. I still hadn’t learned what I needed to learn apparently, because I picked up the second string of lights and without plugging them in to test them first, I began to carefully ravel the second string of lights around the tree and ornaments. This time when I plugged it in, none of the lights worked.  I unraveled the tree… again… working around the fragile ornaments. This was starting to be wearisome, so I put a halt on the lights and ornaments and decided to wait for John to help, maybe to fix the strings of lights or at least offer a fresh perspective to my enigma.
 
This humorous revealing of myself and Christmas tree lights reminds me of stories told by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, who is an American poet, Jungian psychoanalyst, storyteller, author and spoken word artist. I am reminded of stories of women as weavers – literal and metaphorical. Weaving, knitting, building, undoing, unraveling and then repeating, doing it all over again. Sometimes the tapestry has to come apart, be revisited and created anew. This can even be an essential part of an individual’s creative process. Each time it is created anew, new learning and depths can be reached. And if we do obtain some high level of “perfection” in any action, we may also be stopping or preventing the process of learning, weaving and flowing within.
 
One of the dangerous mind games we play in our own psyche is expecting that we need to do something perfectly at a first attempt, or any attempt. This unfortunately keeps us locked up and constricted inside without space for our creativity and gifts to flow. We instead can create opportunities to gain self-awareness and confront our inner obstacles, especially the unrealistic expectations to do it perfectly. With this freedom, we can ravel and unravel knowing it won’t be perfect. 
 
Clarissa Pinkola Estes says,“Did you know, you were born as the first, and the last and the best and the only one of your kind, and that eccentricity is the first sign of giftedness?”
 
What I hear Estes saying is that we are each our own unique person, and our gifts lie in our eccentricities (rather than any attempt at perfection). To create room for change within our obstacles, we simply need to remember that we are enough within our giftedness. Then as we move forward with each attempt, whether failing or succeeding, we learn something new and there is movement and flow within.
 

I have been applying this inspiration to my imperfections in my daily life and work, and have found it to be liberating. I have embraced my imperfections and eccentricity with the tree and John had the bright idea to buy new lights. We now have a beautifully lit and decorated Christmas tree. 
 
We all have many opportunities to express our love through our creative work, whether it is cooking, gardening, our profession, business-building, art, music, dance, or stringing lights on a tree. I hope that you will find a way to move past any unrealistic expectations of perfection, and have the freedom to ravel or unravel…or revel…in your love, creativity, and gifts through this season of Lights.


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With love,  ~Janet
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