Mothering

​As I sit and write today, I feel a type of exhaustion that I never knew before having children of my own. Eliza is a toddler and exploring different variations on her nap – shortening, lengthening, and today skipping it completely.
 
I’ve been struck by how challenging it is for myself (and I imagine others) to be a ‘stay-at-home mom.’ I so want to be with my baby, love and raise her, and yet I feel this soulful tug toward my other work in this world. I do have opportunities to work, including teaching yoga once a week. But I have to say that in either place, at home or at work, neither feels completely satisfying. It’s not quite satisfying, because I either feel a tug toward work, or toward Eliza while I’m at work. I was touched when I had a poignant conversation with my mom recently, and heard her share similar dilemmas for herself when I and my siblings were babies and young children. I’m aware that there is no easy or short solution, but I am also grateful for my friend Sally, who reminded me that the way she moved through these difficult times is through prayer-- asking God for help. 
 
I firmly believe that all mothers just simply want the best for their babies, for their children. Even moms who have lost their way, or who seem to not care. I believe their “higher self” knows, and wants only the best for their children. Even if she isn’t able to express it.

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I’ve been reading in my inspirational book and I was delighted to find a reference to the study of the Greek mythology. I had never heard of Hestia. Sara Ban Breathnach writes in her book, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, “Hestia was the goddess of the hearth, guardian of family life and the temple... Hestia was one of the twelve Olympians in classical Greek mythology. But she is the least known of all the deities, and there are no legends about her, even though Zeus bestowed on her the privilege of sitting in the center of their celestial home so that she might receive the best offerings from mortals.” She goes on and quotes, “Hestia is not frazzled, hanging on by a thread. Instead, Hestia is grounded in the midst of outer chaos, disorder, or ordinary, everyday bustle.” Says Jungian analyst and author Jean Shinola Bolen.”

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I’ve been loving this reminder as well, and have been re-reading and reflecting on it. It is my intention and desire to be grounded as it was described about Hestia – grounded in ordinary life as well as keeper of the hearth. This is part, or one aspect, of my soul’s calling that I feel I can live into more fully in my attempt to bridge the gap between my mothering and my other soul work. I can feel myself lifting my gaze, opening to something larger than myself and inviting in God in a prayer of receiving grace as I move through each day and the hustle and bustle.
 
I also received an inspirational poem from a dear friend, Kate. It is written by a Native American woman and it speaks so beautifully and eloquently to my mothering heart. 

It is my hope that in reading this blog, you receive some inspiration as well. And if nothing else a knowing and felt sense that you are not alone.
 
            ~ Janet Wepner

She Who Heals....
Mother, sing me a song
That will ease my pain,
Mend broken bones,
Bring wholeness again...
 
...Show me the Medicine
Of the healing herbs,
The value of spirit,
The way I can serve.
 
Mother, heal my heart
So that I can see
The gift of yours
That can live through me.
 
 
-Thirteen Original Clan Mothers-  
Clan Mother of the Eighth Moon Cycle-- August
Jamie Sams