Is this it?

Books.
Book shelf.
Bed.
Desk. Lamp. Computer.
Is this it?
A whimper at the door,
The dog coming in.
 
February always comes
And goes so quickly.
 
It’s fascinating to me,
The birds that is.
How I’ve been drawn to 
Watching the birds like never
Before, and how others,
In other circles, in other
Walks of life,
Are also drawn to the birds.
 
My daughter calls the female 
Cardinal “Mama” or “Mama Cardinal.”
And the males, “Daddy” or “Daddy Cardinal.”
She talks to the birds, “Hi Mama Cardinal.”
Then quickly asks me, “Mama, what’s the bird saying?”
 
I have different answers on different days.
Letting her know I’m guessing
Or simply don’t know
Each time.
“Maybe Mama Cardinal wants to
Eat breakfast with you,” I say.
 
I like the way the feathers on top of her head move up and down
As she ducks in and out of the feeder.
“I like your hairdo Mama,” 
I often tell her.
 
My mom had surgery last week. 
A lumpectomy to remove cancer.
Biopsy results are back –
Margins, surrounding tissue and lymph nodes
Came back negative. 
All clear.
 
What a roller coaster of feelings,
And such a relief and celebration of joy and life.
 
Being a daughter, a mother, a sister, a wife, a friend, an employee.
The pressure of life and existence is undeniable.
But is this it?
Could there be something more?
 
The answer seems to be here –
in the in-between spaces,
Between the books, 
Between the birds,
Between each breath.

Written by Janet Wepner Feb 2021 (in Maya Stein's writing group)