Death, Love and Life

As I enter this month of August, it has been two weeks now, since our dog Mea passed away. Her diagnosis of Lymphoma and downward spiral happened quickly, and yet we had been expecting her decline and death for some time as she was old in age. Due to the lymphoma affecting her throat with swelling and breathing capacity, we also opted to have her compassionately euthanized. I had such a relief when she passed; I saw that Mea wasn’t struggling or suffering anymore. Eliza wrote a song for Mea the night beforehand. You can view the video here. I told her that Mea wasn’t feeling well and asked her if she could play a song for Mea. If you listen closely you will hear the words, “Mea…nice…” and then, “next song…book back.” 

​Mea was 13. We brought her home as a 1 year old, and lived with John and I for 12 years. She was our first ‘baby’ and was very loving and loyal. She loved going on walks and playing with her ‘ring toy’. She had a great sense of humor! She was also happy when we brought a cat into our home, to be her new friend. But she couldn't have been happier anytime we brought children into our home-- our own or anyone's children. <3

​She was a good ‘nanny dog’ to me through both my pregnancies and to both my babies. We know Eleanor and Mea are together and that makes the adjustment a little easier.

​We are slowly getting used to Mea’s absence. Eliza keeps asking, “Where’s Mea?” We showed her Mea’s dead body and where we buried her; and before John covered Mea we put flowers in her grave together and sang to her. Sometimes when Eliza asks me that question, we go and sit by Mea’s ‘rock,’ her gravesite, and sing to her and talk to her. I’ve been doing this for Eliza, but I think it is helping me in my grieving process as well. Eliza seems to be understanding now. And she’ll say, “Mea’s not here… Mea’s my dog. I miss Mea.” Eliza is such a sweet spirited young girl. I’ve also been impressing upon Eliza that Mea’s body stopped working and now her spirit is free. Her level of understanding is very limited, yet to some degree I think she gets it.
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Mea served our family well. Having had a few weeks to grieve the initial shock of her death and absence, I now carry Mea with me in my heart and turn my gaze toward departure for the Women’s Hero’s Journey®.
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I feel that soulful calling, yearning and yes to being in the mountains, and among an open-hearted community of women! And my mama’s heart is already missing that time away from my baby, Eliza. I know my girl will be in good hands and will continue to be surrounded by so much love! I was away from her in March for 3 days and after her initial disappointment in me, she built resiliency, adaptability and flexibility, not to mention strengthening her relationship with her daddy. Overall I feel really good about this trip and opportunity, as I embark on a soul-nourishing journey.
 
In reflecting on life, death and grieving, and to quote Freddie the Leaf’s friend Daniel…”it’s all about the trees and the sun and the moon and the love and the children.” See the full quote below. Written by Leo Buscaglia, PhD, The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for all All Ages.
 
Freddie the Leaf asked his Leaf-friend Daniel about the seasons of Life and death. Freddie innocently asked, “What has been the reason for this? Why are we all here?”
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“It’s been about the sun and the moon. It’s been about happy times together. It’s been about the shade and the old people and the children. It’s been about colors in the Fall. It’s been about seasons…Isn’t that enough?”
 
I say a whole-hearted Yes! My gratitude for all these things and more is what makes life worth living. Living life to the fullest. That’s what I intend to do, whether with Eliza by my side, or embarking on a new journey.
 
May you find that which fills your cup and nourishes you to the brim. Seek it, or may it seek and find you.
 
And may you then know your fullness and Abundance within. 

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​In Love and Peace,     Janet Wepner     
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