​As I create spaces and moments in my day for self-reflection, I have recently become aware of a thought pattern, or belief system, that has had significant control over my thinking and behaviors up until now. The recurring thought centers around scarcity, and whatever it is, there’s not enough. This might play out differently for others, but for myself the way this plays out is that I won’t allow myself to have it. For example, with a bunch of bananas sitting on my counter, I will avoid eating a banana…”because then I’ll run out and they’ll be gone.” Unfortunately this leaves all the bananas to eventually go bad.
 
And it doesn’t just show up with food, this thinking pattern shows up with candles too. I’ll set out candles and then decide not to light them…”because eventually they’ll burn down and then I won’t have any more candles.”
 
This type of thinking can be an ally in times to preserve and save. But what it has turned into is deprivation. I do not need to deprive myself of eating a banana. We can always go to the store and get more. I do not need to deprive myself of the beauty of a lit candle. I can buy more candles when that time comes.
 
My conundrum also sheds light on a dilemma, investment versus consumerism. How can we be more conscious of both sides of this dilemma? In my situation, as I shed light, I’m not just consuming a banana, I’m investing in my health. I’m not just buying/consuming candles, I’m enjoying their beauty, sharing it with others and creating a cozy atmosphere. Another way to put it is that I am nourishing and investing in myself, rather than being over indulgent in consumerism.
 
I have begun challenging that voice when it arises. I look at the bananas and if I want to eat one, I do. Sometimes I get half-way through it, and feel again like I should save the other half for later so I don’t run out. I breathe and welcome that voice inside for its wisdom, and then honor my need and nourishment by finishing the banana. And yes, I light the candle and enjoy its beauty as well. It’s all so simple and yet it requires repetition and practice on my part.
 
For those who fall on the other side of this dilemma and over indulge, the root is the same—nourishment. Whether we are starving and depriving our self, or we are over-indulging and  over-consuming, in both cases what is lacking is nourishment. We must continue to compassionately, with self-love, look at the ways we can nourish and wholly invest in ourselves and our well-being. In small doable steps we can create change, and shift from deprivation to nourishment.
 
I write this to you now as Valentine’s Day soon approaches. May we all find ways to truly nourish our hearts with self-awareness, love and light. Many blessings!

~Written by Janet Wepner
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Painting by Janet Wepner

​In this month of September, I celebrate my birthday. I’ll be 37 this year. And I also have my wedding anniversary; John and I have been married 11 years (and together as a couple for 17). In my 37th year of life, I also recognize, honor and celebrate my two daughters Eleanor (now passed) and Eliza. They both are a big part of who I am today.
 
My relationship with John has changed and grown, and I feel honored to be his witness in life and him mine. In light of my upcoming anniversary, and the fact that by the end of 2017, I will have attended 6 weddings this year (a record year!), I have some words of wisdom to share for the newly weds and for all of us.
 
Remember love, patience and gratitude.
 
Love with all your heart. Risk opening your heart to love bigger and bigger every day. Sometimes this looks big, like celebrating a special occasion; and sometimes it looks small, like doing small tasks that you know the other will appreciate. And yes, opening your heart also opens you up to feeling vulnerable, and at times you will feel pain, but in my experience the joy will outweigh the pain. Love big; it’s totally worth it.
 
Be patient with yourself, you are ever growing and ever changing. Be patient with your spouse, they are ever growing and ever changing. These growths and changes are not seen on a day to day basis but rather over time.
 
Open to gratitude and be thankful on a daily basis. Gratitude is a healing vibration. Open your heart and mind and whole self to all that you are grateful for:  home, family, friends, vehicle, bank account, support, each other, health, wellness, a beautiful earth, abundance, etc.
 
In remembering love, patience and gratitude you can work through all the ups and downs of life, and all the ups and downs in relationship. Through the different trials you will each take turns taking the lead, guiding and steering compassionately. It’s not easy maintaining an intimate relationship. I feel it can be better said as ‘tending the fire;’ add a log from time to time (nourishment), give room for oxygen (breath), and create a strong, safe container (ground).
 
Trust in yourself and in the other.
Listen to your heart and to one another.
And Love, patience and gratitude will guide you forward.
 
Salud! Cheers to your journey together!
 
~written by Janet Wepner