Becoming More Human

Through Interconnectedness

​One of the mistakes of our current times, I feel, is that we believe we need to be ‘independent.’ While yes, some uses of the word are valuable, we have a tendency to take it to an extreme. What inevitably happens is we become islands in our own world; completing our daily tasks, obsessively thinking of what’s next on our to-do list and at the same time attempting to hide feelings of inadequacy. The truth is that we are not inadequate. However it is important to note that most likely it is our interactions with others and with the Whole of Life that is lacking or insufficient. On a personal help level, I believe that we can choose to reflect on this dynamic and choose to do it differently. 
 
The internet has contributed to our isolation and ‘over independence.’ For example, the world wide web was designed to connect us with others and a vast array of thoughts, ideas and information. We can now ‘Google’ all our questions rather than having a conversation or dialog with someone else. As a result, the internet has also sped up our daily lives, and what ironically gets left out is human-to-human connection. How can we continue to become more human with one another? Rather than expecting our selves to do more or be superhuman, and instead to be more human.
 
We can look at nature, literally and figuratively, for information and support. Trees and plants have a hidden connection underground through the chemistry of certain fungi.

photo courtesy of Hero's Journey® Foundation

​“…As a result of this growing body of evidence, many biologists have started using the term ‘wood wide web’ to describe the communications services that fungi provide to plants and other organisms…The fungal internet exemplifies one of the great lessons of ecology: seemingly separate organisms are often connected, and may depend on each other,”
says chemical ecologist Kathyrn Morris.
http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20141111-plants-have-a-hidden-internet
 
This line is what stands out to me the most, “seemingly separate organisms are often connected, and may depend on each other.” In essence, I see the same is true for us. We as human beings are more interdependent with one another and nature than, at times, we care to recognize. So not only are we human be-ings, but we are designed to ‘be’ human together. We can depend on sharing our humanity together, if we so choose.

photo courtesy of Wepner Wellness

​We are resonant, vibratory beings interacting with and dependent on one another and the Whole of Life in unseen ways all the time. For example, to explore this differently in one’s self, rather than simply walking, try walking with a moment’s awareness of each step you take… and the Whole of Life connected to you and you to it. Do you feel a deeper sense of support and aliveness moving through you? How might you feel in applying the same depth of awareness and felt sensation while in an interaction with another human being? 
 
Richard Rohr a monk and spiritual writer speaks similarly saying,
“This understanding gives us an utterly different sense of self; this person is truly a ‘sounding through’ (per-sonare) much more than an autonomous being…it is coming to know a new and essential self that is interconnected with everyone and everything else,”
Richard Rohr, "The Journey of Conversion".
 
I love Rohr’s use of the phrase ‘per-sonare’ (pronounced like per-son-air). It looks like the word person, but it is Latin and means ‘by sound’. Sound is an unseen vibration and a great example of how we are a ‘sounding through’ for one another especially when we speak to each other, but also non-verbally. And Rohr also states and points to a new essential self that is interconnected with everyone and everything else. We are not designed to be islands of isolation, especially if our intention is to feel alive in this world.
 
I’ve also been reading and enjoying Philip Shepherd’s book “Radical Wholeness”. 
Shepherd says, “Growing into adulthood is what happens when we heal ourselves beyond the structures of the known into the reality of the unknown – into the felt mystery of wholeness.”  Shepherd recognizes the Whole of Life as a mystery, and how we can grow beyond the structures of what is already known and expand into the unknown – the felt mystery of wholeness.
 
He also says, “self-awareness is created through relationship.” Relationship is an essential ingredient in self-awareness. This can be counter-intuitive at times in our ways of thinking and believing we need to be alone to gain self-awareness. While time to reflect and integrate within one’s self is important, it’s also striking to see the value in relationship and really learning about who we are, as we are in real human relationships. 

photo courtesy of Hero's Journey® Foundation

“… relationship is made possible by exchange,” says Shepherd. How are you exchanging with the world? In a very real and literal way we exchange with the world in every moment, for example, with our breath. We draw in life with our inhale and release what’s no longer needed on our exhale. Life receives our exhale, and welcomes our inhale. We also allow or disallow exchanges to take place with one another. For example, allowing an exchange to take place when we witness an interaction between an infant and a loving parent tends to be warming and brings out the best in us. What is outside of us is allowed in, and then what is inside of us is allowed out in an enlivening flow and exchange. We can also choose to disallow or disconnect from such an interaction, cutting off the exchange and refusing the Whole of Life to move through us.
 
I feel that even though we are driven to ‘over independence’ and resulting feelings of inadequacy, that we can also make a new choice in any moment. I also realize that in some moments while it seems like a simple idea and easy to make a new choice, it can actually be very difficult to change. Strangely enough, when our interactions with others are lacking, we “internalize” that as inadequacy on our part. Human parents, including myself, are fallible and imperfect. Parents make mistakes to lesser or greater degrees. Psychology and counseling books speak about how as infants we internalize these environmental mistakes and failures as failures of our own; but we can ask ourselves, “How can an infant fail?” It’s not possible, they are completely dependent on the world around them. 
 
So if we are not failures and we are not inadequate, then we can empower our selves to make a conscious effort in reconnecting with the Whole of Life rather than separating into an overuse of independence. 
 
In closing, the ‘quest’ or question I am offering as something to live into and to walk with is this:
 
   How can we continue providing and creating opportunities
   for ourselves and for others,
   to exchange,
   to be a sounding board or “sounding through” (per-sonare),
   in becoming more human with one another?
   While honoring and allowing the Whole of Life,
   to move through us, as we move through life.
 
 
With you on the journey,   ~Janet Wepner

photo courtesy of Hero's Journey® Foundation