​This is both an exciting and exhausting time of year. We are in the holiday season where we have the opportunity to spend time with family and friends. We remember those who are not here and spend time with those who are.
 
Among these relationships, whether familial or friends, there is bound to be challenge and stress, in addition to joy and love. Often we just try to bare through the difficulties that arrive, by finding ways to avoid or cope until the time has passed. Or we might be trying on new ways of being with them, or simply new ways to be in relationship with ourselves. If you are trying to find a new way, it may seem overly challenging or daunting at times. Remember to be patient and gentle with yourself as you are embarking on new steps of awareness and growth.
 
It’s kind of like having to learn how to tie your shoes differently. I’ve recently learned a new way to tie my shoes and it’s such a great metaphor for self-growth as well. I’ve been tying my shoes the same way for the past 37 years. Now, when I go to tie my shoes I have to slow down and consciously guide my hands to tie in this new way. This isn’t just one week and then I have it mastered. Nope. I’m still working on it; even 2 months later, my hands still want to go back to tying my shoes the way I had been doing it.

When we learn a new behavior or a new way, it takes time to change. It requires slowing down and consciously guiding our self in a new groove, a new path. This also makes ‘new grooves’ in your brain and new pathways and signals. Eventually it will become a habit, but it will take time. In this very ordinary but perfect metaphor of shoe-tying, I’ve become very humble and patient with myself regarding self-growth and change.
 
So as you spend time with your family and friends, may you be patient with yourself in discovering new ways of relating, centering and connecting within.
 
I send you each my blessings in this season of Lights and Holy-days.
 
~ Janet Wepner
 
 
 
PS The new shoe-tying method is twice over (instead of just once) in the first move, and then “bunny rabbit ears” which cross over twice (instead of just once). Voila!
And to untie, it’s one pull of the string rather than fiddling with double-knots.
;)  I learned this new way while attending my facilitation ‘apprentice’ training weekend with the Hero’s Journey Foundation.
I keep trying to make one ‘bunny rabbit ear’ but it doesn’t work the same. Good luck everyone! 

​I am continually finding and discovering new ways of balancing the different ways that I bring myself forward in my work in this world. An obvious element in my work in the world, among many, is being a mother. Another way I like to bring myself and my gifts forward is through working with adults and teens through the Hero’s Journey® Foundation (HJF). I am grateful that I was able to attend their annual fundraiser a few weeks ago in Pittsburgh, PA.

It was a lovely and cozy evening in a unique location – an old historical speakeasy. We had delicious food and attendance of about 50-60 people. There was great live music, including the famous drummer, Jim Donovan! Michael Mervosh, the founder and executive director of HJF introduced our work to those present and invited those who felt called to come up to the microphone and speak about something meaningful that touches their heart (this is a variation on what we call a ‘soul tavern’), and the band would play a verse of music between each speaker allowing integration. It was truly a beautiful evening where we didn’t just talk about our work with the Hero’s Journey®, we embodied it, brought it alive and made it real in the moment. It was really amazing how people, both men and women, took up the task of speaking from their heart. Some were folks involved in the HJF and others were completely new and knew nothing about it.
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Michael spoke to what is striking about this way of the ‘soul tavern’, which is that we are called to have more opportunities of meaningful sharing. We are called to have these opportunities and to come together and bond -- in ways that do not center around when someone dear is very ill or dying, without creating wars or enemies, and without killing off anyone. And as a matter of fact, it’s the opposite. We are called to bring our self alive and in so doing we help others to feel their own aliveness!

During our evening together, I stood up to take the mic. Here is what I shared,
 
I am Janet Wepner and I have been involved with the Hero’s Journey since 2006. I have had the honor to work with both teens and adults. There is a statement that one of our young women made during a journey intensive week that became something that I live by. She said, “the word tree should be a verb [or adverb]...” For example, “Brian, you are so tree.”

​You can allow your self to feel that in your body. How it is to be tree – to root down and feel your roots – which support your body, your trunk – and from there you can reach as your branches do – and find the ways that you blossom.

Trees also go through changes as the seasons change, just as we do.
I’ve been through many seasons in my life. As a mother, I’m here with my daughter Eliza and you all have seen her. But my first born Eleanor is not able to be here. She only lived for 2 weeks, and it was a very challenging time in my and my husband’s life. It’s the kind of ‘season’ no one would wish for or would wish upon anyone else, and yet we were in it, and are still in it to a degree.

We could not have traversed that terrain without others being ‘tree’ for us. There were many who were trees for us, and John and I leaned into them. It was essential. And even though it has its challenges, it became easier over time, and Eleanor is still with us in our hearts and I can feel her very strongly while doing my work with the Hero’s Journey® as the veils seem to thin.

​And that’s what I wanted to share with you here this evening. It’s so important the ways that we come together, and share together. I thank you all for coming here tonight and I encourage each of us to continue to be more ‘tree’ in our lives.
 
In closing, let us all keep learning and discovering ways to be the best trees we can to ourselves and to each other.
 
Thank-you,
Written by Janet Wepner
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