​As I create spaces and moments in my day for self-reflection, I have recently become aware of a thought pattern, or belief system, that has had significant control over my thinking and behaviors up until now. The recurring thought centers around scarcity, and whatever it is, there’s not enough. This might play out differently for others, but for myself the way this plays out is that I won’t allow myself to have it. For example, with a bunch of bananas sitting on my counter, I will avoid eating a banana…”because then I’ll run out and they’ll be gone.” Unfortunately this leaves all the bananas to eventually go bad.
 
And it doesn’t just show up with food, this thinking pattern shows up with candles too. I’ll set out candles and then decide not to light them…”because eventually they’ll burn down and then I won’t have any more candles.”
 
This type of thinking can be an ally in times to preserve and save. But what it has turned into is deprivation. I do not need to deprive myself of eating a banana. We can always go to the store and get more. I do not need to deprive myself of the beauty of a lit candle. I can buy more candles when that time comes.
 
My conundrum also sheds light on a dilemma, investment versus consumerism. How can we be more conscious of both sides of this dilemma? In my situation, as I shed light, I’m not just consuming a banana, I’m investing in my health. I’m not just buying/consuming candles, I’m enjoying their beauty, sharing it with others and creating a cozy atmosphere. Another way to put it is that I am nourishing and investing in myself, rather than being over indulgent in consumerism.
 
I have begun challenging that voice when it arises. I look at the bananas and if I want to eat one, I do. Sometimes I get half-way through it, and feel again like I should save the other half for later so I don’t run out. I breathe and welcome that voice inside for its wisdom, and then honor my need and nourishment by finishing the banana. And yes, I light the candle and enjoy its beauty as well. It’s all so simple and yet it requires repetition and practice on my part.
 
For those who fall on the other side of this dilemma and over indulge, the root is the same—nourishment. Whether we are starving and depriving our self, or we are over-indulging and  over-consuming, in both cases what is lacking is nourishment. We must continue to compassionately, with self-love, look at the ways we can nourish and wholly invest in ourselves and our well-being. In small doable steps we can create change, and shift from deprivation to nourishment.
 
I write this to you now as Valentine’s Day soon approaches. May we all find ways to truly nourish our hearts with self-awareness, love and light. Many blessings!

~Written by Janet Wepner
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Painting by Janet Wepner

In this new year of 2018, I feel myself opening to new possibilities. I feel this opening in a new and different way than in any year past. Thanks to a daily inspirational book that my friend, Trudy, gave me, I feel called to look deeper into my heart. The author Sarah Ban Breathnach creates this invitation in her book “Simple Abundance—A Daybook of Comfort and Joy.”
 
For this new year, what longings lie dormant in your heart?

In years past, I feel like I kind of stumbled through what my heart wanted to create. Even though I feel how I gave my heart space, I did not sit down to write specifics. I can feel how my heart certainly has longings and yet they seem to remain a mystery to me. Also, I can easily be swept up in the daily grind of home and work and lose sight of what lies deeper within myself.
 
The German poet Ranier Maria Rilke says “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves,”…”Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them and the point is to live everything. Live the questions now…”
 
I love the first line above, “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart.” I feel myself take in a deep breath, and release tension from my body on the exhale. I don’t have to put pressure on myself because I’ve missed or looked over my heart’s longings. Patience is an important key. And the other aspect I love about the quote above is “to love the questions themselves…Live the questions now.” This speaks directly to my soul, for my mind doesn’t understand this but a deeper part of me says, “yes!” In this way, the question becomes very open-ended. I can feel my creativity and excitement soar. I can feel and understand in a deeper way how each moment is living into the question of my heart’s longings. Each action, task, moment of stillness, rest, etc. is a way for me to live and love the question.
 
For this new year, what longings lie dormant in your heart? 
 
Allow this question to live inside you and see what unfolds. I’d be interested to hear from you, so please feel free to comment below or email me privately if you wish. As you allow the question to live inside you and you hear/see/feel what comes into your awareness, write it down. Give yourself as much time and space as you need. For me, what I immediately need is to create space for the unknown. I simply write down the word ‘unknown’, and then that gives space for what else is arising within me. Allow it to be a free-style writing or journaling time where there is no need to figure out or understand the words or images that are coming and expressing themselves. Simply let it flow. As you feel the flow subside, wait to see if there’s another wave. After one or several waves, if you feel complete in the moment, then look back over your words or images. Are there any themes? The themes that emerged from my free flow writing session are Creativity and Authenticity.
 
Following your initial dive into the question, take your themes and re-write them so that they become your new year Compassionate Intentions! For example based on my two themes above,
 
“In 2018, I intend to live in a way that creates space for more of my Creativity and Authenticity to flow.”
 
Holding this intention with the same depth and light-heartedness as the original question, and allowing your self to live into the question and to love the question of your heart’s longings, we have now created a 2018 new year Compassionate Intention. And so from here the adventure of 2018 begins!
 
 
 Written by Janet Wepner
(to explore this deeper and in a women's group, contact me about my new year's women's workshops.)